| I realized a lot. |
[Oct. 22nd, 2003|07:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Switch Foot - Meant to Live | ] |
I realized that people change. It's nature. People evolve. People change because it's how we are hardwired. But it's up to the person to decide who they are and who they'll let themselves become. In that critical moment, the only person that can truly help them is themselves.
I realized that there is one piece of being alive that outweighs everything else: Do everything you can to make yourself happy. I'm not talking about making money or owning a car or having a house. Sure, those things are great, but they're so big and artificial. Take the little things. If you think about the little things, and it sounds cliche, but the little things really are key. I was out last night at a friend's house, and we were all just having fun. It was comfortable. And happy.
Things are strange lately. Almost like I don't know who to trust. Or what I can trust people with. I'll need to figure it out soon. |
|
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| what to do, what to do |
[Aug. 3rd, 2003|02:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | moneen...Start angry, end mad | ] |
never been in a situation like this before...this is like a rock and a spot that's harder than a rock. hope everything works itself out eh? i really don't understand...i'm so confused. i'm so fucking confused that i don't understand why the fuck i'm confused! yah i'm fucked up. whatever. thought i might put some shit in here. bloody hell it's not like it'll get read by anybody but it makes me feel better....fuck it. |
|
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| WOOHOOOOOO!!!! |
[Nov. 23rd, 2002|04:13 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  jubilant | ] |
| [ | music |
| | JiMMy EaT WoRLD - *FoR ME, ThiS iS HeaVeN!!* | ] |
Today is our (Maija and I) ONE-YEAR anniversary!!!!! I'm sorry but I have two things to say: 1) It doesn't seem anything close to one year; and 2) it has easily EASILY been the greatest year of my life!!! I love her soo greatly...it's like something you see in movies...it's insane and i love every second of it. Today is great!
---JuStIn
*\(^o^)/****I LovE YoU *Maijaha*!!!****\(^o^)/
"For Always!" |
|
|
| This is for you!*** |
[Sep. 16th, 2002|10:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jimmy Eat World - For Me, This Is Heaven!!!! | ] |
--*I LovE YoU MaijA!*-- |
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|
| Been awhile...again. |
[Sep. 11th, 2002|05:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Taking Back Sunday ---> Ghost Man On Third | ] |
Well then....how IS everyone tonight??? i'm doin alright...just waiting for a little bit...me and ron watched blade 2 today. kinda bad cuz the dirty guy loved himself so much....i think livejournal died...haha not a lot of ppl i kno have any time for it anymore, including myself...aw hell...i'm tryin really hard in school...never tried so hard before in my life...at least in precalc and physics, cuz those are the only classes i care about....that, and maija makes me do my math homework....it's alright though cuz she helps me change all my wrong answers into the right ones...and i don't get mad, i just wish i could see it the way she does...she sees things that i totally do not...and i think it's better that way because if we always saw the exact same things all the time, two things would happen. 1: things wouldn't be very exciting...and 2: we'd both be a lot dumber than we would be by now if we hadn't gone out...i think that she makes me just THAT much of a better person, and i'm shure she's seen that...she brings out what is the best of me, and i like to think i do the same for her...I love you so much more than should be possible! just remember that babe...
---Justin
...*For-Always!*... |
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|
| Been awhile... |
[Aug. 25th, 2002|03:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Thursday - Standing on the Edge of Summer | ] |
I'm such a bia...and I'm sorry for it.
My current music explains it all. I figured it was the song for the last day of school, so it'd be just the opposite edge of summer...I thought it fit.
I brought my mom flowers. She better like them.
If you read this, call me in the morning on my cell phone.
I LovE YoU *MaijA* |
|
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| I'm so happy! |
[Jun. 23rd, 2002|03:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | -*Jimmy*-*Eat*-*World*---> For Me, This Is Heaven!!! | ] |
Today is me and Maijaha's *7-months!!*
I LOVE YOU MAIJA!! *For Always!!!*
Tonite was a good nite...i really really badly miss maija but since i am either at work or sleeping this weekend it makes it a little easier at least...me and ron had to defend our reputations becuz charlie didn't think the raccoons are vicious...so we wanted to fight them again but they must have learned their lessons. Darn tootin...it was an easy great night cept when ashley didn't do breakdown for hours and they bombarded the area with glasses of every sorts. but it was fun, i just wanted the 'coons to come back, i hadn't finished w/dem bazzards! AND ME AND RON ARE FINALLY APPRECIATATED!! lol they finally decided to give us skanks a tip-out! WOOHOOOOO!! anyway, today later when i wake up (in 4 hours)it will be a great day!! First i'm gonna take a shower, and then i'm gonna call lindsay and then we're gonna do stuff and go places to get stuff to do things with...and then at 12er i have to work and it's sunday which means.....it's gonna be hell...but it's sunday, which also means that maija will be home or on her way home when i get off work, and i will get to see her for the first time in a few years days...oops it's an honest mistake; feels like years almost...so yeah it's a great day cuz i miss her so much and i get to see her...those 6 or so hours are gonna go by sooo ssss-lllllllll-ooooooooooooooo-wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...dammit...but i'm gonna go cuz i'ts 4:01 and i get up at 8:30!!!! yes!
i love you maija! see you later tonite!!! HAPPY 7th!! and for always more...oh, i hope you like your suprise (in case u see it before i'm off work!! (:-D)hahaha) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2002|03:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giggly | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Smashing Pumpkins ->----> Tonight, Tonight.... | ] |
today was great kinda...i saw maija for awhile and that made me happy but then she had to leave and i was not happy....she'll be back sunday nite tho....so after that i went to work....laughed w/ron "where's the any key????" and i got carried around as the human briefcase.....then i did a nice stunt move on the metal when ashley beat the shit outta me...she made me laugh a little too...then damn 'koon huntin again....shiiiii ron almost got eaten by one of those nasty little fuckers!! luckily, i was there with a broken glass bottle to save his before it went for his jugular....hahhaha then he sprayed it and it died finally after about a 20 minute fight to-the-death!!! and we came out victorious!!! WOOHOOOOO!!! but now i'm real tired and it's real late and i think i wanna sleep...i just can't wait for sunday night...sunday nite....sunday nite......sunday nite...........sunday nite...........sunday......................nite....sunday nite.....BRAWWWWWWWWWWWR!!!!!
...and i'm spent.
---Justin
i love you maijaha! and i miss you sumtin BAAAAAAAD! |
|
|
| im scared |
[Jun. 10th, 2002|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | miserable and petrified. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jimmy eat world ---> hear you me | ] |
Don't know what to do....everything was so perfect earlier, and then i said something iprobly shouldn't have....and i don't want to hurt you anymore...i just want to see you happy again...just tell me what you need, and i'll do everything to give it to you....i just want you happy...
...because i love you maija. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2002|11:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | yellowcard - trembling...how perfect | ] |
ugh i feel like i'm gonna puke....i would really like to bed dead right now...it's pretty much all i deserve after somehow hurting the only person i love and ever will love...i just wish i didn't hurt so much either.
for always... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2002|09:53 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | me first and the gimme-gimmes ----> i'll make love to you | ] |
yesterday night at work was great ashley slapped me in the face with the back of her hand and now my nose is broke; it's aight...then i wrestled bob for a minute and then the old guy got p00ped out...then i did a whole bunch of stuff and then i fucking itched soooooooooooooo bad it would not stop....so i had ashley and gina scratch about 3 layers of skin off.....then eventually it stopped and it felt really great to not itch....and then i did a couple sumthins funny when me sara casadei and assface were sittin at the table....and then j told us about the time when he was in skool and the 2 black girls were fightin and one grabbed the other by the hand and hit her so hard she pulled her weave straight out her head...haha i laughed......then i was kinda blah for the rest of the night...i dunno why yet but i'm working on it.....but yah i'm out see ya
---JuStIn
i love you maija |
|
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| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2002|05:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Yellowcard - "Cigarette..." hmmm... | ] |
had a nice weekend rather enjoyed it...i'm not describing it all but there were some greatly wonderful beyond explanation times and then there were some really confusing times and then there were just some really really stupid STUPID times...o well great job....overall this weekend was a B.
---Justin
I love you maija |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2002|09:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | loved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jimmy Eat World - *For Me, This Is Heaven* | ] |
Today was me and maija's 6 months!! last nite me and assface went to get maija stuff and it was fun.....then i had to stay up til 2 doing an essay...and then i had to clean my room so i went to bed at like 2:30 and i woke up at 5:23 becuz that is today's date and i figured it was a better number than like 5:30...but i had to get up earlier becuz i had to go to the skool and put maija's stuff in her locker like i usually does....then i went to skool and i watched movies in 2 hours and it was so great and then skool was over and i went to maija's and i ate pizza rolls and we just sat around for awhile and then we left at like 4:30 or sumthin and went to my house and then we took a nap and that was great and then my momma wanted me to pick up the pizza so i did that and then we watched mtv2 forever....we discussed how fun this weekend is gonna be and how much we need to kick our parents outta one of us's houses and then live in it together....and then i took her home and then i came back home and now i'm home and i'm updating my journal...and so yeah...tomorrow is fucking friday and i have no stress on me at all it's beautiful i luv it....this weekend should be grrrrrrreat!!!! ahha omfg i can't wait WOOOOHOOOOOO!! oh my i'm so happy right now...nothing could bring me down now OOOOOOOOOO it's so fun...well somethin did just now but only a tiny bit....so whatever it's alrigth,b ut i need to go to sleep, my typing is starting to suffer.....haha
---JuStIn
I LOVE YOU MAIJA!! Happy 6 Months!! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2002|02:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relieved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ThE StaRTinG LinE ----> -\/\*-Cheek to Cheek-*/\/- | ] |
today was a great happy day later on once everything was settled...i was so relieved...hence the relieved thing. i went with maija to luigi's and it wasn't that bad, i'll go there again...i saw 2 bums today in MC...it was funny, one was a fucking great bum and the other was a dumb bum....opposite ends of the bum social ladder WOOOHOOOO!!! i felt bad tho...then went to maaija's and it was great fun i played bond and it wasn't that fun becuz i felt bad for playing and maija just falling asleep...then after that we left niki's room and went in maija's and fell asleep but it didn't feel like i fell asleep..it felt more like a blink....all i remember is leaving niki's room at 10:10 about and then i blinked and it was 11:38.....and then i blinked agian and it was 12:10....it was really crazy, i was so confussed....and then maija's mom probly thought i was a drunk becuz i almost fell over when i was putting my shoes on and it was fun...then i went to sycamore cuz i were bored and a little more awake and then yah i got money from bob and then i drove j home and then i decided that the macomb county jail is like a fucking beehive. then i dropped ashley off at her home and we saw a UFO. w00t! anyways i'm really tired now soooo good bye...
---JuStIn
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| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2002|02:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | HIM - .....Heaven Tonite..... | ] |
i'm so fucking dumb....i hate myself more than anything right now...only someone as fucking stupid as me could pull something off like this...i've made the only person i have ever loved, still love, and for always will love think just the opposite...it's such a horrible feeling when you are so in love with someone that it hurts you to think of not having them, and these thoughts alone make you cry, and you wonder what would actually happen if you didn't have them for real....you, and you alone, are my only reason for being here...i couldn't and wouldn't live without you...i, too, love you too much to lose you and if i did.....
When I said "For Always," I meant it with my entire heart.
I love you Maija...I'm so sorry. |
|
|
| ughhh |
[May. 16th, 2002|08:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ...Fenix TX...__/\/-={*Tear-jerker*}=-\/\__ | ] |
my head hurts...i feel like shit. whenever the sun goes away i feel like shit...maybe that's it; who knows....i hate school so much it's halfway hilarious...i was worried today a lot but i'm not anymore but still...i didn't think i should becuz there wasn't much of a reason but...whatever. such a horrible dayyyyy......sleep now...
I love you maija...i'm sorry |
|
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2002|09:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | irritated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | RuFiO - RoaD To ReCoVeRy..... | ] |
THE PRESENTERS NAME: Justin
DATING STATUS: ...does forever in love work here?
HEIGHT: 5 foot somethin
EYE COLOR: ugly...but i wish they were green!
HAIR COLOR: browish
NICKNAMES: duck ponderous...little boy
SCREEN NAME(s): ponderous99
BIRTHPLACE: i dunno
SCHOOL: the dirty hole that is L'Anse Creuse North
FRIENDS: ron maija jiggs assface erika shauna gina and many many more....(don't get mad if ur not here, cuz ur still my friend)
PIERCINGS: nuh uh
TATTOOS: none
BEDTIME: around 12-1am
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
THE FUTURE
PLACE TO LIVE: um cali
KIDS: zero...but maybe one real late
NAMES OF KIDS: ?
JOB: anything that gives me enough money for a house on lake tahoe...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
HAVE YOU EVER
BROKEN THE LAW: ummmm haha me? naaaaaah....
RAN AWAY: nope
BROKEN A BONE: nope
CHEATED ON A TEST: nope
PLAYED STRIP POKER: ummm nuh uh no strip poker here --
HAD AN EMERGENCY: no
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*
DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: ya i guess..but i dunno
GOD: sumtimes..
UNICORNS:no
ALIENS: probably
HOROSCOPES: kinda
GHOSTS: yeah
HEAVEN: hopefully
HELL: possibly
YOURSELF: sometimes
ABORTION: ehhhhh
LIFE AFTER DEATH: no
PAST LIVES: nope
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
WHICH IS BETTER
COKE OR PEPSI: pepsi
POOLS OR HOT TUBS: i like both
TV OR RADIO: tv
ONE PILLOW OR TWO: two
NIGHT OR DAY: evening
MOON OR SUN: sun makes me happy; moon calms me down
MAN/WOMAN: ?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
THE OPPOSITE SEX
WHAT DO YOU NOTICE FIRST: eyes
MUST-HAVE PERSONALITY TRAITS: must be maija
STRAIGHT OR CURLY HAIR: straight
SHORT OR LONG HAIR: long
HATE MOST ABOUT THEM: "I'M TOO FUCKING FAT! AHHHHHHHH!!!!"
WHO HAS IT EASIER: guys mostly, but some places not
WHO CAUGHT YOUR EYE RECENTLY?: well about 7 hours ago i was over this girls house and i really love her a lot...she catches my eye every single time.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...
SHOWERED: um yesterday morning WOOOHOOO!!
CRIED: uhhh i dunno
WHEN AND WITH WHO DID YOU RECENTLY HAVE THE
BEST TIME WITH? friday nite/saturday before work wrestling with maija! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2002|10:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | jubilant | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ThUrSdAy - ....!StandinG ON ThE EdgE OF SummeR!.... | ] |
Today started off as a really pathetic day....i really wanted to be asleep for the whole day. oooo i hated being alive and awake this morning...all this through about 5th hour when i got to just relax and watch a movie....mmmmmmmm it was much needed, and i think i fell asleep while watching it with my eyes open. ooooops...then 6th hour *blah* then i went away from that horrible, DIRTY place called school and i dropped assface off and the weather made me hate it even more and it made maija think i was mad at her even tho i'm never ever mad at her.....then assholes don't know how to drive and it pisses me off cuz it makes me look like a horrible driver along with them....then i went to maija's and i was so much happier cuz she always makes me happy and then the sun came out and i was happier and then i was happy and it was great...and i love driving when it's sunny and warm w/the windows down and real loudness I LUV IT!!!! but yah then me and maija went for a walk later and she was telling me why she thinks i hated her when i really didn't but i didn't know what she was saying i never hated her at all......and then yah I'M FINE....don't worry maija --- jeff was wrong! i feel no pain! wooohooooooooo lol!! k i'm spent ahha....
---justin
i love you maija!!!! |
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ponderous's journal
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